S4 Bonus 03: Can Pitching Be Fun?

Get the show’s transcript

[00:00:00] Welcome to the Genius Womxn Podcast. I'm your host, Yulia, Denisyuk, an award-winning travel photographer and writer with work in some incredible publications like National Geographic, AFAR Magazine, and more. And this year you see my name in places like Conde Nast Traveler. I'm on a mission to help other women who want to grow their trouble, storytelling, careers, go after their dreams while feeling supported, worthy, and bold. If you're ready to ditch your fear and doubts to the side, step into your brilliance and take action on your dreams. You're in the right place. Let's go.

[00:00:40] Hey everyone. Welcome to the new year. I am so, so excited. You're here with us and I can't wait to see what amazing things you'll create this year. We're still on our little break here and the genius women podcast, but all throughout January, we're sharing bonus episodes with you from our membership, the circle, as we prepare for our upcoming season five of the.

[00:01:05] in this bonus episode, I'm sharing with you a conversation we had in the circle during one of our weekly 30 minute check-ins with our members in this conversation, we were discussing wordiness and how it relates to setting boundaries. Why over-preparing our pitches is another manifestation of imposter syndrome.

[00:01:24] How we concern the act of pitching into a fun exercise and why we should, even though. And just to know that every conversation from the circle that you hear as part of these bonus series is shared with permission from our members. Okay. Let's dive in. 

[00:01:42] I'm thinking about wording this a lot this month, and it's already impacting the way I'm making decisions on different things.

[00:01:51] Not, you know, not, not just related to travel media, just, just different things in my life. And, and it, and I'm not even doing any work, actually. I'm not. Meaning that I'm not actively trying to like work on my word in this. Right. It's just something that sits in my mind as a question. Every time I'm faced with a decision or something, it's like how to ward the me approach this.

[00:02:14] Right. Just a simple question. Like I'm not even doing any work, but I've, I've noticed that even in this month, I'm already. Um, behaving and making decisions differently than before. So curious to hear if that's something that you've seen, if, if, if you don't have any time to think about wordiness right now, or, or how has, um, how has that going for you guys, if you want to share?

[00:02:39] So to this discussion,

[00:02:41] I don't think I was like a wise, I don't know. I think like going back to kind of what I was saying last week of like stepping back away from different kinds of writing projects like that for me has been an exercise and worthiness. Staying yes. Seeing while he was saying no to things that I don't want to do, rather than just like chasing and feeling kind of desperate and like, oh, I just need to say yes to everything.

[00:03:11] Um, and to your point, like that's, that's even outside of writing, like I've, I've been just trying to approach that, just how I make decisions about like social life or, or what I'm doing. And, um, it w it's like, It's like less chasing and we're just being, and it's actually been going really well. Like I feel like I've had a good week, so I don't know, but from doing that from doing less in way, I mean, amazing.

[00:03:39] I think what you're talking about there, Sam is, um, It makes feeling like this question of worthiness and thinking about wordiness. It, it makes it easier for us to first realize we have very bad boundaries on our time, on our energy, right. And then we start creating those boundaries and actually then following through on those boundaries.

[00:04:04] And I think that's what makes all the difference actually in our lives or the friends. Um, when we create and six of those boundaries that actually affects everything else, right? When you have strong boundaries, you have more time for yourself, you're feeling more creative, you're feeling less frazzled.

[00:04:22] You can work on the pitches that you want to work on, you know, and again, let's take it even outside of that. You have more time for yourself and it's a circle that keeps like a, what's the word? It reinforces itself. This circle, right? Um, for me, I think, I think what you're talking about. His boundaries.

[00:04:41] And that has been a huge difference for me. 

[00:04:44] I'm not a hundred percent there yet, but I'm getting much better at those boundaries. And it's freeing up so much bandwidth, like mental bandwidth to do all kinds of things, which is so exciting.

[00:04:56] It's like, um, it's boundaries and it's, the worthiness comes in for me, where. Feeling worthy of having certain boundaries instead of in the past, maybe I would have looked at it like, well, I really can't set up that kind of boundary right now because I'm not, I haven't achieved this yet or made it to this level yet.

[00:05:18] And then like, it's just refreshing to kind of step back and be like, Nope, sorry. Weren't sending all the bags from the beginning, right? From the beginning to your point, we don't have to achieve a certain level. And it's so hard, right. Because we're so used to thinking that, you know, even let's take photography, like even the sake, you know, this career in this bat, Negotiating for my rates, which by the way, we're going to, you know, it's going to be a whole theme in November, but negotiating for my rates from the beginning as I started out, that's like, what?

[00:05:49] No. Right. I still have to, I first have to reach a certain level before I can do that. Why who says that? Right. But it's so deeply ingrained in our minds that that's how it's supposed to be, how radical it would be. If we start doing that from the beginning. Just start asking for more money for, for more rain and I'm doing it now.

[00:06:11] And you know, I shared this with you before every, like, Maybe 95% of the time. People give me more money when I asked for it, which is like, it's crazy. Right? You're leaving so much money on the table when you don't do it. And it also took me a couple of years to get here. Right. Because again, I was also like, oh, I can't do it yet.

[00:06:31] I'm still chasing all those opportunities. I can be asking for more money. But imagine like if we just incorporated from the beginning and said, no, let me just end. There is a way to do it that doesn't like, kill your relationship with this editor or with whoever you're asking. Uh, and again, we're going to talk about it in November in more detail, but that's the same thing, right?

[00:06:54] You don't have to be at a certain level to start creating boundaries to start feeling like you're wordy, just because you are already here wherever you are. Right. Asking for more money, like all of those things are related. Um, and they're all. Incredibly powerful if we, if we implement even the tiniest percentage of all those things, it's, it's so, so powerful.

[00:07:19] So I've been trying to work on a couple photo essays and I've, um, I feel like I've been spending a lot of time on the back end and not a lot of time pitching. So it's like I have these ideas and the works, and then they're not quite getting to the final. Um, scenario. So I think last week I just had one pitch and my goal for this week is to do four, just to kind of catch myself up.

[00:07:42] I have two that are pretty much there, but I think I struggle with, um, Not having a super solid idea or like where I'm going to get the data from to write the article, if it's accepted. Um, so that's kind of one thing where I'm like, oh, well, if it actually gets accepted, do I have the data to back this up or something to actually write the article with which I'm struggling with with one of my photo essays.

[00:08:08] So. Yeah. And trying to find angles, which I think that will come in time that I'm struggling with with that. Like I have these stories, I just don't know a unique angle to tell them from yes. And I think correct me if I'm wrong. I think Ashley, maybe you and I had this discussion before. Feeling like you need to prepare everything about this pitch before you send the pitch or feeling like you have to have the story all lined up before you send the pitch.

[00:08:37] And please don't do that because I'm trying to talk myself out of that. I'm okay. I don't need that. Just worried about it later. Exactly. Yeah. 'cause, you're, you're, you're investing so much time and effort into something that you don't even know if it's going to pan out right. As an acceptive story. Right.

[00:08:55] So. Worry about that later, you will be able to figure that out later. Right. It's it's absolutely fine. Um, to, to, I mean, you, you need to, it's again, like, oh, a lot of this is so much art and then the science, right. It's because. Uh, when I actually think about how to do that, like, you sort of have to have the skeleton of the story in place.

[00:09:19] You need to know what you're pitching, right? You need to know what you're proposing, so have this skeleton, but then all of those pieces and the data and whatever else you will need, you know, you can figure that out later, but don't invest all of that time and effort right now before, you know, if, if that's going to be an accepted story, you know, um, 

[00:09:40] And part of it is imposter syndrome too, because we want to be so over-prepared right.

[00:09:46] Um, where we don't need to be. We, we need to develop trust that once that acceptance comes, we will be able to figure it out and create a great story out of it, you know? Um, and I I've certainly have, you know, I, I re I recognize that too, because I it's, it's less and less now, but I also remember that feeling of trepidation.

[00:10:09] What if it gets accepted, then I actually have to deliver and I'm, I'm screwed, you know, that's a lot of it is imposter syndrome speaking. And then what do you know, every time the story gets accepted, I'm able to deliver it and create a great story that then, you know, the editors love. Yeah, you're right.

[00:10:27] Yeah. So my advice for you, Shelly is less, less research on preparation, more pitching right now. Okay. Um, and I wouldn't even treat it as treat. Um, I, I told this before to some of you, I don't remember who exactly I told it to. 

[00:10:47] Try to remove all the weight from it and all the heaviness and all the pressure of, well, this pitch gets accepted.

[00:10:54] Try to, I know it's hard, but try to see it as a game, almost as a fun exercise. Let me send all of these ideas out there and let me see what bites, let me see what sparks. Okay. Because through doing that work, you will get better and better at knowing. Which angles are interesting to you, how to find angles.

[00:11:15] Um, you know, what stories are resonating more with which publications? Of course we teach you some of these things, right? And again, we're going to be talking about it in October, but a lot of this comes through doing it really does. Like I can't overemphasize how important doing is. Um, and so for you in this state specifically challis, and I think, um, cath, I think you're in that stage too, because we talked about over-preparing and over researching before pitching, uh, with you as well.

[00:11:47] I think last week, see if you can treat it as a fun game. Let me come up with all these different ideas, all these different story angles. Let me send them out there and let me see what happens. And let me see what sparks and remove all the weight of, I have to have a pitch accepted or I have to have, you know, if this doesn't work, then it means this is a failure.

[00:12:09] I'm a failure. This career is not for me. Like try to remove all those things and just treat it as a fun game. Uh, what's the analogy that I can use in the, in the sports world. I dunno like a tag, maybe a tag good game. Or is that, is that a game or, you know what I'm talking about? Like how many bullets can you score or whatever, like tries to have fun with it.

[00:12:32] I guess the main point is try to have fun. It's a good reminder that, um, you're right. I I'm wanting to come across really professionally and you know, like I have it altogether, but you're right. That I just need to send the ideas out there because they, then I can hone in on like what you said, who's accepting what and what, what ideas are relevant rather.

[00:12:53] And you're right. Like, I can create a story. I don't have to have everything, you know, upfront. And that's a good reminder that my brain is perfectly capable of coming up with a story later on. It doesn't have to be perfect from the pitch. Yay. Yes. Yes, Shelly. Exactly, exactly. And that's a reminder again, we all need that because also as women, right, we are inherently, so perfection is, I mean, a lot of us saw it, right?

[00:13:20] We just want everything to be perfect before we send it out. And again, that comes back to imposter syndrome. I mean, you know, this, the statistics, this study studies, right? That's for, for, for a man to apply for a job. What's the number, I think, uh, two thirds qualify. Is it enough and for women it's 130% qualified to apply for the same job.

[00:13:41] So we know this, right. So let's, let's work with it. 

[00:13:45] Thanks again for listening to our bonus episodes today. I hope you found the ideas we discussed here relevant and inspiring for you. If you're looking for support opportunities and community in the travel media space, consider joining us in the circle where we have conversations like the one you just heard on a regular basis.

[00:14:04] Visit geniuswomxn.co/circle to learn. Thanks again for listening and stay tuned for another bonus episode coming your way next week.