S3 Bonus 09: Let’s Take Up Space!

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[00:00:00] Welcome to the Genius Women Podcast. I'm your host, Yulia Denisyuk, an award-winning travel photographer and writer with work in some incredible publications like National Geographic, Afar Magazine, and more. And this year you see my name in places like Conde Nast Traveler. I'm on a mission to help other women who want to grow their trouble, storytelling, careers, go after their dreams while feeling supported, worthy, and bold. If you're ready to ditch your fear and doubts to the side, step into your brilliance and take action on your dreams. You're in the right place. Let's go.

[00:00:38] And just like that September is almost over and we're back next week with fresh seasoned four episodes. So they I'd like to share with you a part of the conversation that I still think about today, months after it was over. This to me is one of the unexpected beauties of being in community with all of these wonderful women.

[00:00:57] Sometimes our conversations take us to poignant spaces that we didn't plan for, but that are necessary. Nonetheless, in this conversation, I talk with published writer and circle member, Ashlyn Brooks, who is pursuing her stories, bravely and pitching big names like the New York times. We're so proud of you, Ashley.

[00:01:18] I hope you've been enjoying this little break and all of the bonus conversations we've been sharing with you from the circle, our membership for women on the creative path, interested in travel media, a quick announcement that circle reopens this Friday, October 1st. And if you join us in the first five days, you'll have a chance to win a free one-on-one session with me.

[00:01:40] So if you've been thinking about joining now would be a really good time. All right, now it's our episodes. 

[00:01:47] So today let's, check in. I know you guys, some of you have shared that you're busy. You have a lot going on shared some struggles as well.

[00:01:56] so let's use this 30 minutes that we have today to share whatever's on your mind, maybe air some things out. I want to hear how you guys are doing. Before we do that, just share with you a current frustration of mine. 

[00:02:07] So, I recently pitched Atlas Obscura and they loved the story so much.

[00:02:13] They gave me such great feedback on the pitch and it was perfect. And I was so excited. And now my source for the story, the person on whom everything is riding, she's been ghosting me for weeks now. And it's so frustrating because it's an amazing story. I want to tell it so much. Atlas Obscura was so excited and this girl is this woman.

[00:02:33] She just keeps ghosting me. And she keeps telling me, oh yeah, tomorrow, tomorrow. Oh yeah. Tomorrow, tomorrow, because I need her input on like, this is the story about her actually. Yeah, that's so frustrating. And now I'm not getting a byline and that was Obscura, which I was really excited for. You know? So just to share with you that sometimes it's like, you know, what are you, what are you going to do?

[00:02:54] You got to keep keep going forward. And now come up with another idea send them that they will hopefully love as much. I mean, literally I don't think I've ever gotten this feedback on a pitch before. Like he said, the editor said. something like, thank you so much for this excellent and thoughtful and beautifully written pitch.

[00:03:11] And I was like, oh my God, that's amazing. And then she goes to me, you know, you never know, like there's going to be so many challenges on dispatch, you guys, but that's why we're like here together and go through them, talk about them, air them out, air the frustrations and keep going because yeah.

[00:03:28] So that's my story for the week. how are you guys feeling? How are you who wants to share what's what's been on your mind. 

[00:03:34] Well, I'll go. think some of you guys know I just was in California and I got to meet the, the golden girl writer and that was so cool. He was so nice and just.

[00:03:44] What an incredible experience, but it was so interesting because I thought of all of you guys, um, you know, I met him and I had like a, just a quick meal with him and we talked for a while and you know, in my mind he's kind of like made it right? Like he's this writer he's been on Teligent shows he's won an Emmy blah-blah-blah.

[00:04:02] And his wife was supposed to come too. And I didn't get to meet her because I thought this was so cool. She was pitching HBO the next day. And she just had too much to do. but, you know, sitting down with me, like he just basically said, he was like, look, this is the job you just pitch and you pitch and you pitch, and it doesn't matter how many times it goes.

[00:04:20] Well, this is always what it comes back to. And that was kind of. It was just really good to hear as a novice, because I think in my mind, I've been kind of viewing it as like, well, I'm going to reach this pinnacle where this part doesn't happen anymore. And it's like, Nope, that is the job. And, um, and so that was really just cool and a good experience.

[00:04:38] And I think for myself, I got to meet him. And then I also got to have dinner with this other writer that I'm a big fan of visa. Surfrider his name is Jamie Brissett and my husband knows him through the film festival. and, uh, that was kind of a completely different experience, but. Both of those men. and we could have a whole other conversation about like interacting with men versus women.

[00:04:58] Like that's kind of interesting too, but, they did give me really good advice. And so I think the last week I've been so keyed up on all of that, that now I need to like, come back down to. And like, get my nose back into my own deal and like, you know, that was fun. And that was great and exciting, but it's like, okay, well now I need to come home and sit in my room and, and write pitches.

[00:05:17] So that's kinda what, yeah. Oh, I love that. Ashley, thank you so much for sharing that. And I think what you said there about this guy, who's at the top and he's made it and he's still pitching and that's the job that's like golden right there. Andy. Really internalizing and that's the job. And I think we're doing this in the circle with you guys, right?

[00:05:37] With all of the stuff that we go through every week, every month. what I'm trying to instill in you is not being afraid to pitch and understanding, like you said, that this is the job and your success depends on how many pitches you send out Hmm. And at the end of the day, it's sort of like a numbers game.

[00:05:54] It becomes a numbers game. The more pitches you send out, the more stories you will have published, you know? and yeah, and sometimes some of them are not going to go according to plan at all. Even when you do get an acceptance, sometimes things will fall through like, we're just happening to me right now, you know?

[00:06:09] But yeah, this is the job, right. sooner you can get comfortable with that. The sooner you can, the couple, your own sense of worthiness and worth and all of that from the pitches that you sent and how people are reacting to your pitches, the easier this path and this, this job before you. but I love it.

[00:06:27] I love, I love that you had that experience cause that's super, super impressed. 

[00:06:31] And, you know, I just want to say one of the things, cause I think that like, maybe we've all kind of done. This is that I was, I was really nervous when I went to meet him and, and I do this thing that I think others do that when I get nervous, I tend to, apologize.

[00:06:45] Super flawlessly and you know, he's, he's a comedy writer. So I sat down and I don't know, this thing happened, the wind blew, the napkins went away and I said, oh, I'm so sorry. And he was like, he made jokes about like, well, that was the most unnecessary apology ever. And like, he kind of kidded me the whole meal about that.

[00:07:01] But then when we were done, it was, it was really kind of him. He just said, look, you know, he said, I. Kidding you, but he's like, I'm going to be serious for a minute. He was like, you sat down and a simple thing happened and you said, you were sorry. And he's like, that seems like good manners, but he's like, really?

[00:07:14] You're just making yourself small. And he was like, you don't need to do that. So he's like, you need to push, don't make yourself small. And I thought that was just such a nice thing. He said it in a kind way, but it was also kind of him telling me, like, that's not going to cut it. Like you need to stand up and.

[00:07:29] be Confident. And so I don't know if anybody else, you know, resonates with that, but it was that, that stuck with me. 

[00:07:35] Ashley, you just opened the can of worms. Oh, no. In the sense that, oh my God. Right. That's the whole socializing as a woman in this world thing where, I mean, God, yes. Right. I mean, I'm guilty of that.

[00:07:51] I have been more aware of that in the past year, year and a half. Cause I'm also on this journey with you guys, like we're all on this journey together. Right. But like, I noticed that about me so much. I say, sorry, all the time. And I apologize for taking up space.

[00:08:06] All right. Yeah. yeah. Yes. 

[00:08:10] But I think awareness right is the first step. When you're aware that this is what's happening, then you can start catching yourself and, showing up in a different way, even That's a great way to say it's showing up in a different way. Cause like he kind of, like I said, he was very kind, but he kind of was like, look, you're trying to kind of be nice, but that's, it's really not nice.

[00:08:30] Like you're, you're just, you know, and I was like, hi, he's right. Like it's who am I saying? Sorry to no one, like, so I like that showing up in a different way. Yeah. Wow, beautiful, beautiful conversation for a Monday morning for all of us. 

[00:08:43] Thanks again for listening to this bonus episode today, I hope you found it useful and inspiring. If you're looking for support opportunities and community in the travel media space, considering joining us in the circle, the circle reopens this Friday, October 1st. And if you join us in the first five days, you'll have a chance to win a free one-on-one session with me.

[00:09:07] So, if you've been thinking about joining, that would be a really good sign. This October in the circle, we're also exploring the theme of nailing the story, which includes topics like finding an angle and understanding how your story fits with a publication visit geniuswomxn.co, come October 1st to join us.

[00:09:27] Thanks again for listening and stay tuned for our last bonus episode in the series coming your way on Wednesday.